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in which you anxiously anticipate events that will not occur

Mira Gonzalez

in the end he told you that he didn’t want you
but he never did you the courtesy of leaving

out of necessity, you reconstructed your identity around being alone
though you almost never thought of it in those terms

you spent time allowing all the wrong people to think you are beautiful
watching them blindly perform unreciprocated feelings onto you
at a distance twice removed from the act

because you refuse to know the feeling of not loving anything
though the feeling will force itself into you sometimes

everyone will tell you what the most painful part is

they will say it’s the moment nothing is left for you in him
or it’s the moment he finds you in someone else

but nobody will tell you that it is possible
to move further from reality every day
until there are no parts of you in anything