I
You took the words I cannot speak,
the ones that stroke my nightmares and come into the ink
I try to remove or rewrite
myself—but I wasn’t touched
as a child or grabbed in the commons,
the joke was my scars too light to be seen,
they’re clean, unlike me, they were
clean enough to keep building a wall that could not be climbed
no dragging men up by the hair as skin peeled away proof
from the roots so my bones are liquid in sleep and I am
part of womb demanding justice
is that this air gets harder to me breathe
II
you are here and spread pumpkin seeds scoop out my insides juicy and orange grinning
and ripe as a spider creeping up my knees web sticks to this dance entranced you tell me
to move my lips over bone and sleep while slipping pajamas in lips wet to become mine
all frozen limbs and mouth dry I wrap me in a blanket of rum drink my lungs tickle my
cheeks flame and when you take say salt water is fine in the morning you grip my thighs
pull down the lace lift the curtain ignore the friction oh not nice I tell me sit down in
your coffin
III
doctor said I should cut that October out
and place it in a trunk let it be
forgotten blinked past speech
I dropped my stomach down a well heard it splash
Gone it couldn’t call out how damp in this hay
the rain was beating me naked