life on earth isn’t easy, though, buster. what drinks from a straw comes back to me as gold. again, say TOMATO SANDWICH. I don’t want to. TOMATO SANDWICH. I don’t have to. all right, TOMATO SANDWICH, I said, and then everything dropped off. I wanted to know, I mean I wanted to really know, what deciding was all about. even though no one asked me to know. even though I opened a document and said tell me how you want to die, and the person emailed back, I want to fall off a clocktower, I want to be rescued via helicopter, my ideal death is one I am saved from just in the nick of time. we can definitely put that in an essay and get you into med school, I assure her. out the window, the sound of loons hitting propellers. just a few more years of this and then maybe the world will end or somebody will pay me to write poems. one or the other.