Evan Gill Smith

I’m reinventing sadness
I’m outgrowing body after body
I’m making up new words for letdown:
amoraloss            slimmining            belowbo

I’m watching the formation of a new world
Through low-quality blast goggles
I’m trying to remember the smell of a peach
And charting the winds of change

I’m shouting into a canyon and
The canyon is forming around my shout
Like I came here for that purpose
In a long-ago dream

I remind myself: this is how you hold sand
This is how you mimic the whistle of a falcon
This is a perfect tomato I will take home
And use to make blood capsules

I’m working hard to remember
Everything that happened last time
How we learned to hate one another
How we slipped into silence and shock

My chart shows an error in the foundation
There’s a hardness beneath our oceanic silt
Some primordial hook that scrapes against
An eyelet screwed into a rotting door

One day the hook catches and
All is laid bare before us again
Our masks ripped off we are
Who we are: soggy unbearable echo