Nothing is as beautiful as a mushroom,
thinks a mushroom.
And if a mushroom could walk,
it would poison the soil.
If a mushroom could converse,
it would poison your mind
with its hallucinatory talk
and its partnership
with garlic that it takes on board
as a health-giving accomplice.
A mushroom will slip down your throat unseen
and infiltrate every part of your world
especially in autumn.
Do not believe the mushroom’s
bid for isolation
and do not vote for their easy-care seats
Mistrust their brief appearances on Newsnight
and their scuffles in Brussels.
Mushrooms are not beautiful
however much they yell it.